It's common knowledge that Craig, Montana is renowned for world-class fly fishing, but did you know that Craig was home to the first rodeo clowns? Absolutely true. In the rip-roaring 1890s, Craig was the place to toss down large amounts of red-eye and challenge Angus Bulls to a duel. It was also home of one of the West's most popular brothels, so when the madams, drunks,and bulls got together something memorable was bound to happen.
On July 4th, 1893 Jonas Ingfeld rode into town looking for all of the above. After a long heart-to-heart with his favorite libation, he made his way to Craig's house of ill repute. He selected one of the finest ladies available and they headed upstairs but, having over-imbibed, Jonas passed out buck naked before his date was able to earn her wage. Feeling the verbal contract had been broken, the lady sought to take revenge, and used the most colorful makeup in her arsenal to paint Jonas's face as he slept off the hooch, and then stole his shirt and replaced it with a flouncy, polka dot dress. When he awoke a few hours later the room was empty and dark...although he thought he glimpsed a different--and rather homely--woman in the mirror as he made his way to the door, Stetson in hand. He staggered down the back steps into a group of intoxicated compatriots, headed for the outskirts of town to "dance" with the bulls. After fending off advances from a couple near-sighted drunks who didn't get a real close look, Jonas, puzzled by the attention, found himself the first to face the music--but as soon as he entered the bull's pen, a half-dozen half-crazed half-ton behemoths immediately stopped snorting and stamping the dirt. They stood up on their hind legs and all leaned back against the fence with amorous expressions in their big, limpid brown eyes.
Jonas ended up being the star of the night. The following day, many of the men, looking to match Jonas's prowess, donned girly outfits and slathered on the lipstick before heading out for the evening's bodacious brawl: thus, a new line of work was born.
Uh, oh. Theirs a station wagon full of rodeo clowns in the parking lot. I'll finish this later. Bye.
